Do some ‘deserve’ more help than others?
Who’s to say?
By Yvonne C. Claes
I have a story to tell, and this tale is 100 percent true.
It’s not intended to be a fable or a fairy tale or a parable, although it does come with a lesson of sorts.
It’s simply a story from real life.
A couple of days ago, I stopped at a gas station after work to fill my tank.
A young man in front of me in line was having trouble with his bank card. It was declined three times.
Of course, being embarrassed, he swore he had the money in his account. It must be a glitch, he insisted.
I’ve done the same as him in hard times, insist the bank was wrong and that I had the money (when I feared I might not).
The woman behind me in line started to voice — quite rudely and loudly — her displeasure at the delay, telling the cashier, “He doesn’t have the money. Just ring up the next person!”
So, I quietly asked the young man how much gas he was trying to purchase. “$30 worth, but I know I have money in my account,” he insisted.
I knew he didn’t.
So, I told him something to the effect that these banks often screw up. It’s happened to me before (when I suspected I didn’t have the money, but I didn’t voice that last part).
I told the cashier to add his $30 in gas to my bill.
The cashier asked, “Are you sure?”
I replied that I was, and the young man thanked me profusely. I told him he’s welcome and just make sure to pay it forward when he is financially stable.
Bitch face behind me tried to berate me for paying for “lazy people who don’t want to work.”
Let me tell you…I held my composure, but inside I wanted to rip her head off.
I think bitch face took offense that the young man was black, and in her mind, therefore, he was not deserving of assistance. Also, she just assumed he didn’t work; he actually works two jobs, I discovered.
I told her it wasn’t her business and paid the cashier for mine and the young man’s gas, and went on my way.
I write this NOT to get credit for paying for the man’s gas.
I write this to remind people that we ALL are struggling in our own ways, and dammit, just because you make a decent living doesn’t mean everyone else does…despite working hard and multiple jobs.
The system is rigged against us. And if I can help one person though the embarrassment and shame of not having money to pay for basic needs, then I will do it.
Never forget WE are a COMMUNITY of workers who need to support each other.
The billionaire class know this and is loyal to their own. And that is why they are so successful at making money and destroying our lives.
Class solidarity always.
You have more in common with a man working two jobs who can’t afford gas than you ever will with the likes of Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos.
Always remember that, and stop judging those in a tough spot.
You may one day find yourself in less-than ideal circumstances.
Take it from someone who was once homeless and had no family whatsoever to rely upon. My family is dysfunctional, and that is an understatement.
I have siblings and a mother who preyed upon family members who showed the least sign of weakness, such as sensitivity and compassion. To them, such traits were unforgivable.
And unfortunately, I had these traits in spades.
My mentally ill mom kicked me out of the house two weeks after my 18th birthday because she no longer received Social Security checks for me. She received them for me since I was 15, when my father, the family breadwinner, died.
She no longer had a use for me, so she kicked me out.
In high school, I was a good student and earned the position of Features Editor on my weekly high school newspaper, all in spite of my mom, who took every opportunity to tell me I was “stupid” and would “never amount to anything.”
I didn’t deserve to be made homeless by my own mother.
It didn’t matter to her that I triumphed over her expectations for me.
In fact, my successes enraged her.
My point is that like the young man who couldn’t afford gas, you simply cannot know what people have been through or the degree of dysfunction in their families of origin from which they came.
You just can’t.
So, quit judging them and try to understand that not all of us came from families that supported them.
Family support, especially at a young age, can make all the difference in where a person ends up, and how they end up feeling about themselves.
©Yvonne C. Claes, 2022. I own this content. You can share my column, but make sure my name is left on it. If you don’t, be prepared to deal with my copyright attorney. Thanks!
